Sunday, April 30, 2017
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Tag: Citizen Cuddis

Election special: A Guide to those Scottish Tory mail-shots

Newsnet exclusive: Chief Reporter Citizen Cuddis has produced this special election guide Despite efforts to talk him out of it, and when those failed, to...

Strange tale of Mike Toffee Hammer and the Brexit Affair

By popular demand, our Daft-as-a-Brush Correspondent Citizen Cuddis presents the second tale in an occasional series of reports from the life of timeless private...

A New Year message to foreigners from Mother Theresa

The Right-Honourable Member for Maidenhead addresses non-Brits across the Kingdom  Dear freeloading co-habiters of our sceptr'd isle,  Something has gone buttock over tit with ... well,...

Dickwad Whittington: Special Newsnet holiday season panto

Politically minded Scottish pantosphere enthusiasts had much to tickle their oxters this Yuletide: Ali Babble and the 40 listers (Falkirk), Wullie Rennie and the...

Brewster skewers Great Fluffy Puddin o’ the Chieftain Race

Commentary by Citizen "Sir" F'tang F'tang Ole Biscuit Barrel, er-Cuddis, Knight of the Realm of Despondency that is Scotlandshire. Gordon Brewster's recent Politics Scotland interview with...

Wind stops blowing in Scotland’s favour, thanks to incompetent Nats

When a cub reporter for Radio Shortbread’s four p.m Newsdrive programme misapplied the BBC’s quality control procedures, an unspun package believed to have been...

Brexicon* 2: Return of the language of post-truth politics

‘We are respecting the wishes of the Scottish People …’ One of many breathtaking conceits perpetrated on Scotland by the Westminster government. The very same...

Collider committee copes with cyber attack mystery, source unknown

Exclusive report from Paisley, Sunday: Cosmopolitan epicentre of the central belt. Where the citizens’ love affair with the Heedrum Hodrum Collider continues to blossom....

Brexit, Schmexit…. it’s time to spin Europe’s favourite Brexicon*!

Belief A technique borrowed from religion, used by teeth-gnashing, spit-speckled unionist apparatchiks whenever their threadbare, evidence-lite, jingoistic, shoogly-peg arguments in favour of the union start...

Collider latest: Tracking down Labour’s Tweedledum mystery

The shock appearance of cult former soap star Kezia Dugdale on TV at the hands of the merciless Gordon Brewer shocked millions as she...