If you hate Alex Salmond clap your hands … or phone Call Kaye

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  By a Newsnet reporter
 
It’s national ‘Hate Salmond Week’.  Not since Fred the Shred took the wrap for destroying Gordon Brown’s pledge to end boom and bust has so much ire been aimed at one man.
 
Salmond’s crimes include waving a Scottish flag, having his photo taken with a US golfer and suggesting golf clubs ought to accept women as members – shocking.

  By a Newsnet reporter
 
It’s national ‘Hate Salmond Week’.  Not since Fred the Shred took the wrap for destroying Gordon Brown’s pledge to end boom and bust has so much ire been aimed at one man.
 
Salmond’s crimes include waving a Scottish flag, having his photo taken with a US golfer and suggesting golf clubs ought to accept women as members – shocking.

It’s Scotland’s version of the Salem Witch Trials as the Unionist mob go in search of the heretic who dares to defy the great god of Westminster.

The rounding up of the mob, rope at the ready, started last weekend when Salmond committed the heinous crime of brandishing a saltire behind the Great British Leader David Cameron.  The ‘Proud to be British’ brigade suddenly decided they weren’t just as proud to be Scottish and Salmond received brickbats.

One week on and serial offender Salmond was at it again.  Up at Castle Stuart in Inverness to help promote the Scottish Open, and the First Minister was caught by hidden security cameras trying to steal limelight from tournament winner Phil Mickelson.

It prompted a senior advisor to Scottish Labour leader Johann Lamont to ask whether Salmond was an arse.  It also led to BBC Radio Scotland presenter and well known fan of Gordon Brown, Graham Spiers, to question the First Minister’s “grandstanding”.

In his article in the Herald, Spiers writes:

“I was at Castle Stuart last week for the Scottish Open, and you could have been forgiven for thinking that Salmond, a married man, had a serious crush on Phil Mickelson, so up close did he persist in getting to the strapping American golfer.

“Salmond, by no mere fluke, had managed to play in the pro-am at Castle Stuart with Mickelson on the Wednesday.  Come Sunday evening, with Mickelson declared the winner, there was Salmond virtually snuggling into him as Mickelson did the rounds of TV and radio interviews immediately after his victory.

“Mickelson had to do separate British, American and European TV interviews following his win, leaving many a bemused viewer across the globe asking: ‘Who’s the pleased-looking wee guy with the jowls standing next to him?'”

Well, it clearly wasn’t Mr Speirs, who appears a might miffed that it wasn’t he who snuggled up to Phil.

The BBC presenter (yes he is) adds later: “And Salmond has a cat-that-got-the-cream grin like no other politician in Britain.”

Cat that got the cream eh – now where have I seen that line before?

Step forward BBC Scotland colleague Jackie Bird, writing in the weeks prior to the 2011 Scottish elections:

Tiger Salmond, the SNP cat: “Look, Larry, my man, in an independent Scotland you would have your rats and we would have ours.  Problem sorted.  Excuse me, if you don’t mind I’ll just have another lick of my cream.  Now, where was I?  Oh yes, in an independent Scotland, cream.  Cream for all; cream for every man woman and child, and, of course, cat.  There would be cream coming out of the taps, cream in the puddles…”

Not to be outdone in the ‘Get Salmond’ stakes was another BBC contractor, our old friend Kaye Adams who yesterday hosted another episode of ‘Call Salmond Names’ … er ‘Call Kaye’, which purported to be about the decision by the R&A to award the Open Golf Championship to Muirfield, despite the course operating a no-women members policy.

The phone-in show, which manages to circumvent the BBC’s charter by using members of the public to voice ignorance based pro-Union views, predictably became an anti-Salmond rant within moments of going on air.

I urge people to listen to this show to see how long it will be for a subject to be turned into an attack on Salmond.  It happens regularly, believe me.

We’re approaching the Open Championship but Alex Salmond won’t be there in an official capacity.  It isn’t a snub by the Scottish Government, Fergus Ewing will be there.

Salmond I am told is busy … he’s apparently ready with saltire towel in hand awaiting the birth of a new Royal baby.