Scotland – the political Atlantis


“The spirit of Dunkirk has gripped the nation. The country has found a politician it likes even more than Winston Churchill, according to one poll.”….

“The spirit of Dunkirk has gripped the nation. The country has found a politician it likes even more than Winston Churchill, according to one poll.”
Who says so? None other than Ernie Bilko lookalike and BBC political editor Nick Robinson.  The nation of course is England, or the UK as the BBC prefers to call it.
It isn’t just the BBC that has decided that England equals the UK and the three main parties of England are therefore the only main parties for all four constituent parts of the UK – it seems that this view is shared by every single traditional news outlet in Scotland (with the exception of STV and ‘St’ Bernard Ponsonby).  Scotland has dropped off the political landscape, it has become a latter day political Atlantis.
This Celtic exclusion zone has meant that Scots, Welsh and Northern Irish have had to sit and endure the post debate analysis ad-nauseum.
How good was Clegg, how bad were Cameron and Brown, does the ‘UK’ now have a three horse race or a three (C)legged race – is this hitherto non-existent ‘new-Kay’ state ready for a third force?

Not if the reaction of the London media establishment is anything to go by as the law of unintended consequences reveals that both Labour and Tory have suffered badly, Labour in particular.  It is being said that Gordon Brown’s popularity is now at the same level as the late Michael Foot, in England Labour now languish in third place according to some polls.

What of the reaction in Maclantis to this English only debate?  Well, bizarrely little has been reported on the tartan effect, and given the enthusiasm with which Macpravda usually headline bad news for the SNP one begins to wonder if the exclusion of the SNP’s very own ‘Man from Maclantis’ Alex Salmond has resulted in a backlash against Labour.
Even the TV scraps (Newsnight Scotland and The Politics Show) thrown to us by an increasingly detached Brigadoon Broadcasting Corporation simply gave up on Scotland.  On the evening of the debate Newsnight North Britain featured a discussion around the very same debate, thereby ensuring that the SNP remained completely airbrushed out of the picture. 
Sunday’s ‘Politics Show North Britain’ featured a bizarre graphic on the wall as former Labour councillor (and Euro election candidate) now BBC political reporter, Catriona Renton, discussed the same ‘UK’ debate; a debate remember that, through exclusion, was almost completely irrelevant to Scotland.
Alongside Ms Renton were images of Brown, Cameron and Clegg with right at the bottom (geddit?) a picture of Alex Salmond.  Why was it there at all you ask?
Your guess is as good as mine as the former Labour councillor (and Euro election candidate) proceeded to present us with ‘debate’ polls commissioned by ‘UK’ papers The Mail on Sunday, Sunday Mirror, Independent on Sunday and The Sunday Times.
“It’s not possible to extrapolate Alex Salmond’s SNP’s position” said the former Labour councillor (and Euro election candidate).  Really?, the BBC have been quick to commission polls on matters that were, shall we say, less than helpful to the SNP – Megrahi release anyone?.  A corporation that demands almost 140 quid a year from Scottish licence payers can readily afford a poll in Scotland if it so desired – so why the reluctance?, suspicions grow that the law of unintended consequences is also at work in Scotland.
However the former Labour councillor (and Euro election candidate) decided instead to tell the nation that a Scotland on Sunday poll showed Labour opening up a massive 20% lead over the SNP.
Believable? why of course it is.

Labour’s electoral strategy of having its politicians snort cocaine, flee the country, donate public cash to the party, appear in court on theft charges, award contracts to Labour donors, be the subject of ongoing criminal investigations, entertain gangsters at fundraising events, post abusive messages on twitter and promise to waste billions on Trident whilst cutting the Scottish budget was clearly always going to be a vote winner.
The former Labour councillor (and Euro election candidate) did however warn viewers that polls were notoriously unreliable – not to mention unpredictable; unlike some BBC Scotland political correspondents and Scottish Labour councillors I could mention.
The show host and Secretary of State for Brigadoon, Glenn Campbell, carried on the theme and by the end of the programme I was almost convinced that the wee Scottish party (the name’s on the tip of my tongue) weren’t a force in Scotland at all – who is this man Salmond anyway?
A wee reminder to the nation that there were actually four main parties up here came at the end of the programme with a restricted ‘debate’ involving representatives of all four.  Some guy called Swinney answered on behalf of the er, em – oh whoever they are and the Secretary of State for Brigadoon reminded us all that Swinney’s wee party were always co-operating with the Tories at Holyrood.
Thank god for Baron Glenn of Whine; I may have forgotten the wee party’s name but he reminded me of their demonic Tory worshipping ways.
And so it is that we enter the third week of campaigning with the now ‘three wise men’ of the ‘UK’ dominating the airwaves and the print pages.
As they proffer their gifts of ‘fools-gold, frankly nonsense and little mirth’ to the ‘UK’ electorate, the media will provide a running commentary of this ‘donkey derby’.

At the moment there’s no such place as Maclantis, it doesn’t exist – however on May 6th it will resurface ……it’s citizens armed with ballot paper in one hand and pencil in the other !!