Westminster politics and the twilight zone

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Monster Raving Loony website screen image

Russell Bruce takes a satirical look at the vacuous nature of Westminster Government under Boris de Piffle

Out in the twilight zone as the leaves of summer prepare to fall an official spokeswomen for the Monster Raving Loony party denied Boris de Piffle had applied to stand as an official Loony at the coming election.

An insider, on condition of anonymity, told Newsnet the approach had been more of a proposed takeover and merger to establish a new party to be registered as the ConBrexitLunatic party.

Our Monster Raving Loony source explained: “We take our brand of good humoured political mockery very seriously and would never permit this type of entryism from disaffected and seriously deranged political operators who have created mayhem in UK politics.”

Removing his trademark, oops, careful, mustn’t inadvertently identify our contact, he added: ”Boris de Piffle is a seriously unstable person who sees himself as ‘God’, allied to the satanic Dominator.”

In more recent news the Court of Session in Edinburgh has determined the proroguing of parliament is illegal and that the reasons are not as stated. It is not unusual for the actions of a government to be deemed unlawful by the courts of the land. What is especially relevant is a government without a majority in parliament has pushed through prorogation by executive order, lied about the true reason and lied to the Queen. Is her majesty amused? Probably not. Losing your touch there Boris.

Is the Queen amused? – Oh no she isn’t

Did Boris lie to the Queen? – Oh Yes he did

Can Boris command a majority for anything? – Oh no he can’t

Newsnet has picked up hints that the real reason for the prorogation is even more outlandish. We would not put it any higher than that. David Cameron has published his autobiography to worldwide disinterest. Boris de Piffle wanted to be PM. That he has achieved and is now bored and fed up with the detail the position demands of him. The grapevine is filled with speculation Boris has prorogued parliament so he can write his own autobiography, provisionally titled Confessions of a Serial Liar.

It promises to be a real page turner brimming with hilarious reminiscences of his brief period in office. Veracity is not a factor in Boris’ planned blockbuster. Page after page of piffle, but assuredly side splitting. Rumours about a print run of 1 million with serial rights, film rights,TV rights and foreign translations are set to hand Boris de Piffle millions. De Piffle really wants to get back to his real role as an entertainer. Showtime for ever cometh to Brexit fantasy land.

Is Boris a serious politician? – Oh no he isn’t

“Sod this PM stuff, done that for a couple of months now, no money or accolades in it.”

Narcissism demands a return to the twilight world of fiction and show business. There is even speculation swirling that de Piffle wants to follow the exiled Edward VIII to Bermuda as long as he can find a suitable little palace still standing. In a burst of lethargic energy he will plan the rebuilding of communities. Bridges are part of his plan for his reconstructive infrastructure with untidy hurricane demolished island homes swept away. Boris is said to be committed to spending up to 15 minutes a day – weekdays only – in order to get Bermuda up and running again.

Is Boris a serious politician? – Oh no he isn’t

Is the Queen amused? – Oh no she isn’t

Did Boris lie to the Queen? – Oh Yes he did